“The Superman”

“Superman’s moustache.” Two words that, once Googled, will yield not only a flurry of reviews on Justice League — Warner Bros.’ polarizing new superhero film — but just as many articles about the guy who played Clark and his duster. British thespian, Henry Cavill, had to spend summer 2017 flying back and forth between JL‘s set for some reshoots as the Kryptonian and Mission Impossible 6’s as some still-to-be-announced good guy, the latter of which required his ‘stache for the role. And because Cavill was contractually obligated by MI’s people to keep the thing, Warner Bros.’ CGI people had to get rid of it. And according to Variety, the combined amount of the computerized shave and reshoots cost Warner Bros. a cool $25 million. For a moustache.

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Good thing all you’ll have to do the replicate this bad boy is the following:

• • When shaving around the edges, be sure to let both ends spill about a centimetre over both creases of your mouth, but not too deep that you’re in handlebar territory. Some people will tell you handlebar moustaches are cool. They are wrong.
  • Keep some moustache wax on hand, and never go overboard with it. This stuff is for taming stragglers, not shining them. We like this wax Always Bearded makes for mo’s. 
  • Always get yours routinely maintained when booking with us, or suffer the misfortune of growing a food collector.

*Yes, wearing a moustache takes balls. So heed these choice words from a man who had ‘em. “Do you girls like this moustache? Do you boys like this moustache? Well a lot of people hate it. I don’t give a #*%$, though. It’s my moustache and I’m going to keep it.” 

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— Freddie Mercury, former lead singer of Queen, during some random night on their 1980 world tour.